Hanging onto personal preferences over finding common ground that is mutually beneficial to all is like the white-
knuckling grip of the fist hanging on for dear life from a branch overhanging the jagged, steep cliff. It’s a stupid idea that does not work in the end.
Whether we’re talking about repairing relationships with families, friends, neighbors, schools, cities and towns, our own or other country’s politics, or other social settings; repairing relationships takes concerted effort, but it is possible.
We form our opinions, ideas, goals and judgments with the precision ice skaters use when sharpening their blades. It is effective. Ice skaters use their sharp edges to cut through the ice at will to jump, turn and perform outlandish moves. We do the same thing with our opinions, thoughts, words and actions. Now is the time to melt our own sharp edges, using our own will to better serve us in healing the rifts in humanity that we have caused. Maybe we did not personally cause the rift in humanity, or whatever the dysfunction is in our corner of the world. But that does not mean we cannot be part of the healing, repairing relationships process.
Whatever we focus on grows, no matter which subject it is. Focusing on division keeps everyone in division. Focusing on healing relationships works, whether it is personal or social, as in work related issues, or the politics that is tearing nations apart.
Why not focus on healing the relationship and healing the nation?
This is the team building approach. It works in our jobs, schools, clubs, anywhere we want to work together productively to get things done. Finding what is wrong with every different idea, or attempt at success if it is not our idea, and highlighting the faults of everyone involved does not make for a sturdy foundation on which to build. That would be paramount to erecting our building in sand. It will crumble, of course.
Always arguing and proving we are right (even when we are not) is an exhausting way to live, or function in any realm of society. It is detrimental to repairing any broken relationship, no matter if we are the one in the wrong, or not. We all know this. This is nothing new. We need to move past pride, personal pride, political pride, social pride, as if that pride is the cord that cannot be broken. The truth is, that cord is the very thing that is choking the oxygen out of the will to heal and advance common interests.
We can talk ourselves into a willfully ignorant and self-sabotaging mindset when we are hell bent on getting our own way at all costs. Such an approach as we are seeing on more than one political stage serves very few at the extreme expense of the many.
What is the best way to mend fences, build bridges, and repair broken relationships?
First, we need the desire to do so. Not mending fences, building bridges and repairing relationships only hurts us, not the other person or group. Paradoxically, this requires an honest effort void of only focusing on self-serving interests. One would initially think that by seeking only what we want will get us to where we want to be. This is not true. We see this exact thing play out in other people’s lives, but have a much harder time in recognizing this fact in our own life or political goals. It is always easier to see the faults of others, rather than our own faults, or the ramifications of our own poor decisions. We spend an inordinate amount of time doing just that. It would serve us better if we do like the sitcom “Friends” when Chandler tells Joey, “Get there quicker.”
Second, we need to focus on finding common ground. It is possible to work together for a common goal. Not working together for a common goal is like watching two-year-old children who throw temper tantrums because they have not yet advanced in maturity and in their thinking skills to realize there is a better way of communicating. It is a sad state of affairs when adults act like two-year-old children to get our way. These adult tantrums are also a bully mentality tactic, to manipulate systems and people to achieving self-serving goals. It might seem obvious that we all should not be bullies, nor allow ourselves to be bullied, but even schools are having a hard time in effectively dealing with bullies. There are legal and humane ways to stand up to bullies that do not result with rewarding the bully. We simply need the fortitude, integrity and courage to use our God-given free will to use our voice and stand up for our convictions.
Thirdly, we need to realize living our lives is not the same thing as playing a strategic game of Risk or Monopoly. Real lives, ours and others, are affected negatively when we live our lives like a chess game. Lives are not meant to be lived under microscopes, carved out with exacto knives. If we are going to make decisions affecting other people, we need to take into consideration all people whose lives we affect, not just our own, or only people who think the way we do.
Fourthly, we need to realize what is the motivating force behind our decisions. Is greed the only worthwhile motivating force to determine a life well-lived? If the bottom line is that there is money to be made at the end of the day, or at the end of the transaction, is that a good enough reason to hurt or harm others, or sell out our countries? Is this the paradigm we wish to make decisions by? Is money the only reason to do any and everything? Are other factors just as important as money?
Fifthly, we need to stop playing games, willfully duping ourselves and others. When we speak with a forked tongue, we know we can then go back to say we covered all our bases. Manipulating truth so it is conveniently contorted, lying, cheating and stealing ought not to be the highest goal to achieve, or to be not counted as evil if we can get away with doing it. If we raise the moral standard to all our lives, all our lives will benefit.
We do not have to do any of these suggestions. It is possible to keep on the path we are on. It is possible to thoroughly destroy our planet and force it into cataclysmic, life-ending cycles. We can chose to lose democracies in the world by ignoring democratic principles as if they are the same thing totalitarian ideals, which oddly enough is exactly what we will get when we give up on democracy. We can close our eyes to the realities we do not wish to look at or address because it bothers our peace of mind to think about. We can do nothing and hand over our own responsibilities to other people in order to blame them for all the evils of the world, as long as the world exists.
What is evil?
Evil is the result of events when good people do nothing. The biggest dupe of all is the most successful trick Satan has accomplished in this world, which is, the lie that he does not exist.
God Bless
UNIVERSAL WISDOM ENLIGHTENMENT™ LLC 