Tag Archive | body

Self Esteem, Personality Perception, Body Image, Mental Stability, and Health With Relationships, Money, Spirit


What you focus on grows. What are your views on self esteem, personality perception, body image, mentalpma stability? Do you have any repeating issues with relationships, handling money, or religion or spirituality conflicts? Before we can change in any area, we need to become aware of our patterns, and what makes us tick. Some of us do not want to change. We get used to our dysfunction, in a comfortable but negative way. There is no judgment here. That is what some people like. But, if we are willing to take a closer look, and find we want to move in a more positive direction, the following statements can help to shine a light on our thinking process. It starts with our thoughts. We wear a path through the mind whether we think of ourselves as a success or a failure. If we find we want to change any of our behaviors, pay attention to your thoughts when you read these statements. How do you feel when you read them? Only then can you adjust how you think. That’s where the healing begins.

BODY IMAGE

I am perfect as I am.

I am not perfect as I am.

I am happy with myself.

I am not happy with myself.

I am a perfectionist.

I am not a perfectionist.

I lie to myself and others.

I do  not lie to myself and others.

I am beautiful.

I am ugly.

I am fat.

I am thin.

My, hair, face, eyes, nose, mouth, teen, any body part is perfect.

My every body feature is not perfect.

My body image is all that there is.

I am more than my perception of myself.

 

MENTAL STABILITY

I think clearly.

I do not think clearly.

I think thoughts, then move on.

I think thoughts that endlessly circle in my mind.

I can let go of things that no longer serve me.

I cannot let go of things that no longer serve me.

I allow myself to make mistakes without berating myself.

I do not allow myself to make mistakes without berating myself.

I do not have an addictive quality to my likes and dislikes.

I do have an addictive quality to my likes and dislikes.

I need help with mental issues.

I do not need help with mental issues.

I think getting the help I need with mental issues shows my inner strength.

I think getting the help I need with mental issues shows my inner weakness.

I am honest with myself.

I am not honest with myself.

 

RELATIONSHIPS

My relationships are healthy.

My relationships are not healthy.

I attract wholesome people to me.

I attract unwholesome people to me.

I attract strong personalities to me.

I attract needy personalities to me.

I stand up for my self in a healthy and affirming way.

I do not stand up for myself in a healthy and affirming way.

I do not stand up for myself at all.

I do not stand up for anything at all.

I stand up to bullies.

I do not stand up to bullies.

My relationships online are healthy.

My relationship online are unhealthy.

I am honest with myself and others.

I am not always honest with myself and others.

I am seldom honest with myself and others.

I am never honest with myself and others.

 

MONEY

I have good control over my money.

I do not have good control over my money.

I control money.

Money controls me.

I have enough money.

I do not have enough money.

I always borrow money from people around me.

I do not always borrow money from people around me.

If I borrow money from people around me, I always pay it back.

If I borrow money from people around me, I seldom pay it back.

If I borrow money from people around me, I never pay it back.

 

SPIRIT

I believe in God.

I do not believe in God.

If I do believe in God, I give myself permission to study more about God and can change my mind.

If I do believe in God, I do not give myself permission to study more about God and change my mind.

I am in the same religion as my parents.

I am not in the same religion as my parents.

I have read the Bible.

I have not read the Bible

I give myself permission to read about other faiths.

I do not give myself permission to read about other faiths.

I believe what Jesus said, that the Kingdom of God is inside me.

I do not believe the Kingdom of God is inside me.

If I believe that the Kingdom of God is inside me, I act as if this is true.

If I believe that the Kingdom of God is inside me, I do not act as if this is true.

My spirituality is strong.

My spirituality is weak.

I study Jesus words in the Nag Hammadi Scriptures.

I do not study Jesus words in the Nag Hammadi Scriptures.

Jesus words matter.

Jesus words do not matter.

No matter how we want to improve in any area, if we want to improve on anything at all, it first starts with our thoughts. It does not start with our actions. Actions follow thoughts 100 percent of the time. The following is a guideline for self improvement, if it is desired.

  • Observe how you think about a certain topic.
  • Decide how you want to change your thinking to the next positive thought about it.
  • Try on this new way of thinking of this situation. It will feel odd at first because a negative pathway has already been hardwired into your thinking process. Go easy.
  • Recognize that your first thought at the beginning will be a little voice that tells you “this is stupid and it won’t work.” This is a lie. It will work.
  • Give yourself permission to be able to make mistakes. You are human. You are going to make a lot more mistakes before you are though.
  • Begin again. No one gets life changes right the first, second or even the third time.
  • Keep trying. Life is a journey. Enjoy all the moments along the way.
  • Smile. You only get one life to live, that you know of, in the here and now.

If you are in a situation you do not like, you can change it. You can begin to make positive changes to your life, no matter what situation you find yourself. Even if you are incarcerated somewhere (I hope you are not, but even if you are) you can start to take positive changes to the way you perceive the things, people and situations around you. Be the change you want to see. Find a more hopeful attitude. It is possible. There is always a way.

Namaste

 

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Universal Law of Gender


In my Master of Chaplaincy Program covering 66 universal laws, law 32 is on Law of Gender. I thought this

Our Soul clothes our Spirit, our God particle, which is eternal.

Our Soul clothes our Spirit, our God particle, which is eternal.

insightful law might be helpful in this world and the next.

The Universal Law of Gender has three main points. The first is that everything living in creation has gender, an ebb and flow, a yin/yang effect working together. The second interesting point is that each gender reflects both genders within itself. The third most fascinating point of all, is that all planes of existence including mental, physical and spiritual reflect both male and female aspects.

What this universal law is saying is that one must consider all three aspects of ourselves in finding balance in this world. We are not only physical beings. We are not only mental or emotional beings. We are not only spiritual beings. We are not only spiritual beings walking around in a physical body. That is not entirely accurate. Why?

We now have duality within our brains. We are at the mercy of our left brain, right brain dance of reasoning. Sometimes the male dominated right brain, the yang side wins out, while later in that same day our female left side of our brains reasons back with more artistic and sympathetic responses.

Within our physical bodies we see our genders reflected. But we are not only one dimension; we are three. Technically, some systems say there are 12, 32, 64, or all the 365 “layers” back to God (some say “Source”). To simplify, I am saying our spiritual bodies extend all the way (dimensionally speaking) back to God, which technically, it does.

Our spiritual selves matter just as much as our mental and physical selves, or else we are living a crippled life. Even within our spiritual bodies, which surround us like a heavenly hug about 12-18 inches around us, are part of our human make up. Have you ever wondered why someone standing too close to you out in public makes you feel uncomfortable?

This spiritual aspect of ourselves not only reflects us, it reflects the Creator. This is the part of us that is made in the image and likeness of God. This spirituality has both Mother/Father aspects, nurturing and healing, and creative life generator. We did not come alive until God breathed life into us, animating us with his life-giving force.

People in Jesus’ day wondered about this, asking him in the resurrection, which wife would she be, who had seven husbands in life. The answer Jesus gave in Matthew 22:30: “in the resurrection, neither do men marry, nor are women given in marriage, but they are as angels in heaven … He is the God, not of the dead, but of the living.”

We are to be as angels, no gender, living with God.

Your Mind ~ Body ~ Spirit Health Tripod


This is my ten year anniversary of serving the world as a holistic health counselor/practitioner, which

Does your mental, physical or spiritual health look like this?

Does your mental, physical or spiritual health look like this?

includes mental, physical and spiritual health. This is a lifelong, international certification. Although retired, I continue my work through this blog to touch everyone’s life, wherever you are, in every situation you find yourself. I view mind, body, spirit healing like a tripod. Without health in all three areas, “the tripod” (your life), falls apart, or is tilted one way or another.

My work is person centered rather than technically oriented, and focuses on phychological health, Bibles-based consciousness, human possibilities, and challenges of body, mind and spiritual development. We are created with a mind, a body and a spirit. We need to take care of all three to be fully human. It is irresponsible to only take care of any one of these dimensions of ourselves, while ignoring the other two. It is also irresponsible and short sighted to only take care of two of these dimensions, while simultaneously denying the other aspect of ourselves, as if we can live with out it, mentally, physically or spiritually.

We can’t, successfully anyway. Questions still remain about that which we are denying, and they keep cropping up.

Sometimes we like to live in denial. We do not like pain. We try to avoid it. We look for short cuts. That’s understandable. What tends to happen, though, with the area we are suppressing, is that the part of life we are denying, keeps popping back up, like trying to hold a submerged beach ball under the water, popping up when we least expect it. And don’t you know it, our mental health, or our physical health, or our spiritual health issue keeps calling four our attention until we address it, one way or another. Denying it, or lying to ourselves does not make it go away. Denying truth makes the truth scream all the louder.

Other times, we think we have a great understanding of ourselves. Then we get a new piece of information which changes things, or our viewpoint. This discovery matters. Pay attention, even if we previously thought we had all the answers.

While denying issues with our mental and physical health does happen, today it happens on a grander scale in our spiritual journey. There are so many false religious notions out there. The placebos just are not the same as the solid spiritual food found in the Bible. It is only after we have tried all the more enticing New Age or other spiritual thoughts, that we find they do not even hold a candle to the truth found in the Bible, the most popular book bought, every year.

Following the advice found in the Bible will not only bring spiritual health back in line, it will often bring the mental and physical health back in line as well. This is an amazing puzzle piece that restores character development, self esteem, and positive thinking when we realize just how very loved we truly are. When we trust in God instead of ourselves, stress gets diminished, resulting in less migraine headaches, less ulcers, less panic attacks, and whatever else ails us mentally or physically. Don’t trade the truth for a lie.

In this life we are not promised to live forever. I have never met, nor heard of anyone who has lived forever, mentally, physically or spiritually. But while we are here, it is good to re-connect, re-align or re-affirm our relation with the good God who made us and everything else, using the Bible as our backbone. That way, we have a firm foundation from which we can build our personal mental, physical, spiritual tripod, and enjoy life to the fullest while we are here. For further spiritual help, check out jw.org.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) and Panic Attacks


Stress? What stress?

Imagine you are here ~ no worries ~ nothing to do ~ RELAX

We need to take care of our mental health, in addition to our physical health. Our mental health is important. We need to take better care of it. With physical health issues, we tend to take care of the things we need to take care of. If we ignore the first symptoms of a problem, the pain associated with the physical problem usually sends us to the doctor, even if it is inconvienient.

 

But those with mental health issues often have another hurdle to jump. Our pride, which is fed by our insane ego, suggests to us that if we were mentally strong enough, then we could simply wish our problems away, or worse yet, our insane ego might suggest that you are feeling so good, you should get off your medications because you do not need them anymore.

NEVER GET OFF ANY MEDICATIONS WITHOUT THE ADVICE OF YOUR DOCTOR WHO PRESCRIBED THEM.

The following considerations work both for people currently on medications, and for those who are not on medications.

Let’s go back. Twice now I’ve referred to the ego as the insane ego. The ego very much wants to have a loud voice, no matter how shy you might be, in order to keep you alive. It does not like to have its voice squelshed. However, our ego can make its presence known so loudly that we trip over it time after time. So I will be refering to our unbridaled ego as the insane ego.

Our insane ego can rear up when we first become aware that we might be mentally unbalanced, overly frightened or overwhelmed, by suggesting that this problem “is all in your mind,” and that “It will go away.” Guess what? Problems, mental or otherwise do not go away when we do not deal with them.

It is important for good mental health, to acknowledge our feelings. Feelings are not right or wrong. They simply are. Unpleasant feelings like guilt, unworthiness, grief, and depression do not magically transform themselves by stuffing them deep, down inside you, or denying them. First we need to acknowledge them. Sometimes these feelings are so strong they create a physical pain, but that’s just the symptom of the emotional pain. Know this, once you identify the source of the problem and deal with it, the pain begins to lessen, while your personal power grows stronger.

Whatever you focus on grows. The more you focus on the anxiety, the more the anxiety grows. The good news is, the more you focus on relaxation, and doing the things that bring on the relaxation response, the more you will unwind and heal.

While it is not healthy to pretend we do not have anxiety, it is healthy to have a conscious plan including self-talk and mantras, simply phrases we keep repeating to ourselves to re-train our mind in how we think. Yes, there are times medications are needed, but quite often using these simple self-help tools work to reduce stress, restore mental balance and increase self esteem without them.

For panic attacks, remember to breathe. Nowadays we do not breathe right. When we do breathe, we do not get the same amount of oxygen as we did a century ago due to so much pollution in the air. Plus we are cutting down the rainforests in the world, which are the lungs of the planet. So, remember to take slow, deep breaths. After taking 15 slow, deep breaths, your blood pressure usually returns to normal.

You need to know, if this hasn’t occurred to you already, that you are not going to “feel” like doing any of this. Once the negative habit of anxiety has rooted in you, a little voice inside of you will start by telling you, “This is stupid,” or “It won’t work,” or “I don’t feel like it.” It’s like you have the negative you on one side, and the positive at-least-wants-to-try-to-be-positive you on the other side. Realize this before hand so you expect it, then consciously take the steps to get better anyway.

Yes, you can get better.

To reduce stress, make sure each day includes stretching, Yoga or walking. Remember to move your body in five different directions. For example, you could do a forward bend, arch your back backwards, lean from the waist to one side sliding your hand down your outer calf or whereever you can reach, then do the same thing on the other side. Lastly, do some sort of twist, gently. None of these moves need to be extreme. They just need to be done. This helps you by releasing those feel-good endorphines. Start by doing this for five minutes, then gradually over a few days increase to 15-20 minutes each day, rain or shine.

Listen to happy music you like. Relaxing music helps a lot.

Know too that the world is not going to come to an end if you do not get everything on your to-do list done. Your head already knows this, yet somehow we place enormous burdens on ourselves, out of a mis-guided goal of perfection. Accept yourself right where you are, right now, with all limitations you see. Ask the good God who made you for the assistance you need. It is not that you are perfect if or when you get 900 things done in a day. Give yourself permission to be you and enjoy the wonder.

So, Who Cares Why?


Have you ever pondered why you do the things you do? This question comes up when we find ourselves falling in the same trap time after time, some life lesson that we seem to have a

Don’t waste time trying to figure out WHY. You know if you want to feel better. So, take the positive steps to solve the take you there.

hard time getting past. Everyone has one area of life, or another, that tends to habitually trip us up. Maybe we have a hard time with relationships, finances, employment, self-esteem, or a host of other life situations. Depending on the severity of our “problem” we may find ourselves going to counseling, and some of us go to counseling for a long time, only to find that our tendency to keep falling in the same pitfalls continues. Some counselors might ask you about your childhood, upbringing and numerous life questions, as if gazing at your belly button magically holds the cure that seems to have evaded you. As far as the healing goes, who cares why? If you look back over your life, how much time have you spent looking backwards over the life you have already lived? How much time, thought and energy have you wasted in trying to pinpoint the exact reasons for why you do what you do, or think what you think, or feel the way that you feel?

“How does that make you feel?,” you may have answered 100 times, without being any closer to the solutions in your life.

Who cares why?

So you spend three months, six months, a year, or ten years, figuring out just what makes you tick. I am a retired holistic counselor. I believe that counseling can work to heal our emotional, intellectual, spiritual and physical selves. But, and this is a big but, if we spent more time moving forward as some counselors spend going backwards, we would find our healing in about one tenth of the time.

Seek solution oriented, goal oriented methods, whether you choose to go to counseling, or you decide you can work by yourself in this character development process. My recommendation in any counseling setting, or self-help approach, to allow the first 15 minutes of an hour session, to state your problem. That is it. No more, unless you want to stay stuck in the problem. If you want to stay stuck in the problem, then by all means, keep stirring the pot. What you focus on grows. The longer you talk about the problem, the reasons for the problem, the justifications for the problem, and the problem, the problem, the problem, the longer you stay stuck there. Don’t we just love to focus on the problem? It’s such an ego trip.

The ego does not like this part, only taking 15 minutes to state the problem. The ego wants to steal the floor, add to the drama, focus all of the time on the problem, spin the web of chaos, hijacking your life. But all of these tactics immobilize the situation by refusing to look at the one and only remedy, which is the solution.

Again I ask, who cares why?

No matter if you take five, 10 or 15 years to discover why you are the way you are, you still get to the beginning point of positive changes you need to make to stop the repetitive pattern of dysfunction in your life. You will heal so much quicker if you take an assessment of where you are, then consciously decide where you want to go, and make plans to get there. This life is all a work in progress. Expect to make mistakes along the way. You will make a lot more mistakes before you are through. But that’s how you learn and grow. You are where you are, right now in this place and time, because of them. Where you are right now is the perfect starting place to begin, or begin again, for the hundredth time.

Healing begins by accepting exactly where you are right now, accepting all of your actions, accepting all of your thoughts, accepting all of your feelings, accepting all of your questions. The only way to heal is to accept everything about yourself here and now. If you decide you want to stop gambling, lose weight, quit lying, cheating or stealing, or anything you perceive as a dysfunctional habit, you must begin at the beginning of accepting the truth about yourself, as you see it. Then, if you wish to make any self improvements, get out of abusive relationships, or take courses to put you on the right path, then you can focus all your attention on where you want to go, rather than constantly looking backwards, reviewing over and over again the things that gave you low self-esteem and self-sabotaging habits, and the things that did not work for you.

Ask yourself what your goals are, how you want to feel, what values are important to you. Choose one virtuous trait to work on at a time. Maybe it’s punctuality, telling the truth, or maybe it is choosing to live a life of integrity and honor. Make a plan. Make several plans. Where do you see yourself in six months, one year, and five years from now? Try working with deadlines. I have written for newspapers, as well as articles for magazines. If I did not have deadlines, knowing myself, I would most likely never have completed any of them.

You can achieve anything your mind can conceive. Life is what you make it, so make your life beautiful.