Tag Archive | addiction

Self Esteem, Personality Perception, Body Image, Mental Stability, and Health With Relationships, Money, Spirit

What you focus on grows. What are your views on self esteem, personality perception, body image, mentalpma stability? Do you have any repeating issues with relationships, handling money, or religion or spirituality conflicts? Before we can change in any area, we need to become aware of our patterns, and what makes us tick. Some of us do not want to change. We get used to our dysfunction, in a comfortable but negative way. There is no judgment here. That is what some people like. But, if we are willing to take a closer look, and find we want to move in a more positive direction, the following statements can help to shine a light on our thinking process. It starts with our thoughts. We wear a path through the mind whether we think of ourselves as a success or a failure. If we find we want to change any of our behaviors, pay attention to your thoughts when you read these statements. How do you feel when you read them? Only then can you adjust how you think. That’s where the healing begins.


I am perfect as I am.

I am not perfect as I am.

I am happy with myself.

I am not happy with myself.

I am a perfectionist.

I am not a perfectionist.

I lie to myself and others.

I do  not lie to myself and others.

I am beautiful.

I am ugly.

I am fat.

I am thin.

My, hair, face, eyes, nose, mouth, teen, any body part is perfect.

My every body feature is not perfect.

My body image is all that there is.

I am more than my perception of myself.



I think clearly.

I do not think clearly.

I think thoughts, then move on.

I think thoughts that endlessly circle in my mind.

I can let go of things that no longer serve me.

I cannot let go of things that no longer serve me.

I allow myself to make mistakes without berating myself.

I do not allow myself to make mistakes without berating myself.

I do not have an addictive quality to my likes and dislikes.

I do have an addictive quality to my likes and dislikes.

I need help with mental issues.

I do not need help with mental issues.

I think getting the help I need with mental issues shows my inner strength.

I think getting the help I need with mental issues shows my inner weakness.

I am honest with myself.

I am not honest with myself.



My relationships are healthy.

My relationships are not healthy.

I attract wholesome people to me.

I attract unwholesome people to me.

I attract strong personalities to me.

I attract needy personalities to me.

I stand up for my self in a healthy and affirming way.

I do not stand up for myself in a healthy and affirming way.

I do not stand up for myself at all.

I do not stand up for anything at all.

I stand up to bullies.

I do not stand up to bullies.

My relationships online are healthy.

My relationship online are unhealthy.

I am honest with myself and others.

I am not always honest with myself and others.

I am seldom honest with myself and others.

I am never honest with myself and others.



I have good control over my money.

I do not have good control over my money.

I control money.

Money controls me.

I have enough money.

I do not have enough money.

I always borrow money from people around me.

I do not always borrow money from people around me.

If I borrow money from people around me, I always pay it back.

If I borrow money from people around me, I seldom pay it back.

If I borrow money from people around me, I never pay it back.



I believe in God.

I do not believe in God.

If I do believe in God, I give myself permission to study more about God and can change my mind.

If I do believe in God, I do not give myself permission to study more about God and change my mind.

I am in the same religion as my parents.

I am not in the same religion as my parents.

I have read the Bible.

I have not read the Bible

I give myself permission to read about other faiths.

I do not give myself permission to read about other faiths.

I believe what Jesus said, that the Kingdom of God is inside me.

I do not believe the Kingdom of God is inside me.

If I believe that the Kingdom of God is inside me, I act as if this is true.

If I believe that the Kingdom of God is inside me, I do not act as if this is true.

My spirituality is strong.

My spirituality is weak.

I study Jesus words in the Nag Hammadi Scriptures.

I do not study Jesus words in the Nag Hammadi Scriptures.

Jesus words matter.

Jesus words do not matter.

No matter how we want to improve in any area, if we want to improve on anything at all, it first starts with our thoughts. It does not start with our actions. Actions follow thoughts 100 percent of the time. The following is a guideline for self improvement, if it is desired.

  • Observe how you think about a certain topic.
  • Decide how you want to change your thinking to the next positive thought about it.
  • Try on this new way of thinking of this situation. It will feel odd at first because a negative pathway has already been hardwired into your thinking process. Go easy.
  • Recognize that your first thought at the beginning will be a little voice that tells you “this is stupid and it won’t work.” This is a lie. It will work.
  • Give yourself permission to be able to make mistakes. You are human. You are going to make a lot more mistakes before you are though.
  • Begin again. No one gets life changes right the first, second or even the third time.
  • Keep trying. Life is a journey. Enjoy all the moments along the way.
  • Smile. You only get one life to live, that you know of, in the here and now.

If you are in a situation you do not like, you can change it. You can begin to make positive changes to your life, no matter what situation you find yourself. Even if you are incarcerated somewhere (I hope you are not, but even if you are) you can start to take positive changes to the way you perceive the things, people and situations around you. Be the change you want to see. Find a more hopeful attitude. It is possible. There is always a way.




We Are Losing Our Social Graces ~ Digital Dependence Addiction ~ Repost


We are losing the ability to talk with one another when we are with each other. This break down in communication occurs not only with strangers we come in contact with each day, but also in closer relationships between people.

It is sad to see couples out on a date with each other these days. Instead of gazing into each others eyes, their eyes are downward toward their electronic gizmo.

There is an addiction taking place right before our eyes. Many reasons are given for there incessant “need” to be plugged in. Not all of these reasons are bad. It is not a matter of the importance that technology affords us. The point is, we are losing our social graces.

Part of the reason for people young and not so young struggling with this anti-social behavior is lack of vocal communication skills. They seem to be adept at texting, but holding single task conversations, where they are free from the plug in of any electronic device for diversion, is minimal.

Have you also noticed the lightning speed at which plugged in people now speak? A sonic jet would have to slow down to catch up to them.

Stress? What stress?

Gone are the days of getting to know the person next to you by simple conversation. There has never been more people on the planet to choose from for mates these days, yet there have never been more dating services trying to put people together.

Next time you go to the shopping mall, try smiling and saying “Hi” to the young people you walk by. Most often you get a look back which might as well be say, “You talking to me?” that is if they hear you at all, since ear phones are now plugged into all vacant ears.

Where is the silence?

Where is the time for creative imagination?

Where is the time for meditation and contemplation?

Where is the time to get to meet people and hold conversations?

Social media is no substitute for face to face communication. Not even Skype is the same, though it helps when people are miles apart. But this article is about honest to goodness, heart to heart, voice to voice, and eye to eye human conversation.

It is almost as if we need practice conversation sessions in order to get back to the old art of human interaction. What we have now is technology interaction. But no matter how many benefits technology has, it lacks heart. The programmed voices of our cars and mobile phones can never take the place of real people to people skills.

We have tried to fill the void of natural human to human communication by developing speaking to our technological gadgets, either by orders of command, or by questions. The point here is not how fast one can get a correct answer. The point is to practice and improve on our communication skills in conversations with those we know and those we don’t know.

“I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots,” said Albert Einstein.

On one hand, there are bad people out there who do bad things. But what we have now are a generation of people who are afraid of everything, including their own shadow. How many people on the bus, train, plane do we speak with? We could have past by hundreds of people on any given day, and literally have spoken to no one.

It can be a very lonely experience for our young people, and ourselves, to limit human conversation to short and incomplete sentences.

The art of conversation, person to person, heart to heart can help us all to be better people, and less self centered.

What Is Inscribed On The Statue of Liberty?

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…” This is an excerpt fromJimmy Carter American poet Emma Lazarus’ sonnet “The New Colossus.” It was engraved on a bronze plaque and mounted inside the lower level of the pedestal of the Statue of Liberty in 1903. It was and is intended to welcome immigrants to the United States of America.

Who are the immigrants of today? Do they arrive tired, poor, and huddling in a mass of humanity, with hopes and dreams of a safer, better future? Did our own grandparents and their grandparents generations before us arrive in this way? Might our own ancestors have traveled across dangerous oceans, deplorable and inhuman conditions, hungry and spent from the land they left?

My ancestors traveled down from Canada. Yes, this is one border of the United States. Just last month, amid moose, fox and deer, I drove to the Canadian border. I was not met with soldiers, nor vigilantes with guns, threatening my life. I was not in fear of losing my life coming or going. My family tree continues across the Atlantic Ocean, to the south of France. It most likely goes further, but it is where I presently stopped searching.

My husband’s family roots also come from across the Atlantic Ocean, to Ireland, once struck with a potato famine and war. Immigrants want better living conditions, and more humane treatment.

My family is not alone. Unless you are a native born American Indian, and might I add Spanish or Mexican back in the days of and prior to the Louisiana Purchase, everyone one of us are immigrants, or descendants of immigrants.

Why do modern day “Americans” feel the need to close the borders? The greater paradox is that it seems to be the Christian right-wing, proposing to be Christian, a group that at least according to the Bible ought to taking care of the poor and hungry and destitute among us, that appear to be fueling the fire of small-mindedness.

Closed minds that also want to close borders, do not solve the problem.

There is a way to deal with crime, gun/drug/sex trafficking, and terrorism, without punishing innocent people who are seeking a better life. Criminals need to be dealt with law abiding justice. But not all criminals are immigrants, and not all immigrants are criminals. It is not a criminal act to immigrate to this country.

Contrary to the arguments given by some, immigrants will not take all our money, nor all our jobs. They are also not receiving the benefits they are often accused of receiving. But if they are working in this country (at jobs few of us would take), they ARE paying taxes that they do not reap the benefit of.

Every single one of our family ancestors who immigrated to this country did not have to go through the complicated channels that immigrants have to today. The small-minded thinking creeps in when we say things like, “My ancestors immigrated to this country, but they did it legally.” The term “legally” is really hysterical when you accurately remember just what it was that our parents, grandparents and generations before us did when they merely walked through Ellis Island. In some cases they only had to sign their name, and if they could not write, they simply had to make an “X.”

The immigration process today is being investigated by all involved. It’s about time. With all our education and technology we have in this world today, this problem is not beyond solving.

Emma Lazarus agreed.

Lazarus was born July 22, 1849. She was raised a Sephardic Jew, and displayed an early talent for poetry. She attracted the notice of Ralph Waldo Emerson with her first book, Poems and Translations (1867). After this, her poem “The New Colossus”, written in 1883, was chosen to be displayed at the Statue of Liberty.

She is not alone in recognizing the human hopes and dreams of immigrants.

Do You Own Things Or Do Things Own You? Repost

change is goodPossessions are a 2 way street. We can own possessions, and they can own us. At first this is obvious. We have carefully and often painstakingly selected the things we have. We have chosen the things in our home, including our home, and things all around us, on purpose. These things serve a purpose, even if that purpose is to make us feel good by looking at the art of it, or feel good by being in and around these things. But when do things stop serving us, and we start serving things?

This is a good question to ask ourselves from time to time; because it is by the very nature of time that things begin to own us. It is almost as if our things begin to take a life of their own on, require cleaning or maintenance, and demand replenishing. Our things can even begin vying for our affection, and can consume our every thought, if we are not conscious of it. Things need protection. The more they shine, or grow in value, not only do we want them, so do others. Then we transform from taking care of our things, to safe guarding our things, which is an entirely different matter.

When we recognize that we are serving our things, more than they are serving us, we lose focus of what is really important in our lives. Why do we have the things we have? Do we want to keep up with the Jones’, peer pressure, or for appearances’ sake? Are we hoarders?

The remedy is simple. Like most problems of life, decision is the answer. Indecision is the complication. Decide to solve this problem, unless you like being a slave to your things.

Begin. Begin anywhere. Begin throwing away everything broken, or torn. Get a dumpster. If we didn’t wear it last year we won’t wear it this year. Give away everything that does not serve us. Donate to humanitarian causes to help the poor among us. Go through your things, again and again.

When we streamline our life, then things will not own us. Our homes will not own us. Debt will not own us.

Being debt free is freedom.

Being item free is freedom.

Being free is freedom.

When we are free, we can truly reassess what is important to us, without the clouded vision of false values.

Do You Own Things Or Do They Own You?

First we buy things. We buy them because we need, want, must have our house, furniture, clothes, cars, vacations, and50-things-money-cant-buy everything else in our lives. We acquire these things, usually with much consideration, forethought, careful financial planning; or not. Even when we try not to keep buying things, we still do. Have you ever asked yourself, do I own my things, or do they own me?

Am I a compulsive spender?

What void do spending sprees fill in me?

Have I ever thought of this before?

Have others told me this is a problem?

What can I throw away?

When was the last time I cleaned out things that no longer serve me?

Have I ever considered the possibility that the accumulation of things steals peace and creates chaos?

Have I ever entertained the idea of getting a dumpster to toss out everything that is needlessly taking up space in my house, cellar, attic, yard, or closet?

Have I felt good, with a sense of feeling “lighter” after a big cleaning project?

Can I donate my clothes to a charity, friends and family, or the homeless?

How many pairs of shirts, pants, dresses, suits, and clothes do I really need?

Have I considered repairing items as opposed to buying new items each time?

Have I ever thought of checking out the thrift stores first, before purchasing brand new items?

Am I a product of peer pressure in action, caring about what others think, do and say about my prestige, status, and outward appearance in every area of my life, from the house I live in to the clothes I wear and food I eat?

How much does it matter to me to go out on weekends, eat certain foods, go out drinking with friends and having parties?

How responsible am I in taking care of the things I buy?

Do I keep things in good working order, clean them, repair them, or replace them properly?

How much time to my things take up in my life, each day?

Have I ever tried to live with less than I have?

Have I crossed the line, starting out with me owning my things, then go to the other extreme, with my things: house, car, lifestyle, hobbies, work, owning me?

Do I ever regret a purchase after I have made it?

Do I get a “high” or “rush” of endorphins when I make a purchase?

Do I over-spend when I make purchases?

Do I go into a store with a list of exactly what I want?

Do I set a limit on how much I can spend?

Do I not care about how much I spend on things?


Do I have an emotional connection to money?

Do I get my self worth based on how much money I have?

Do I get my self worth based on how much money I do not have?

Money is merely a form of energy. Things in our life are only good if they help us more than they hurt us, or rob us of peace.

Have I ever tried to live without credit cards?

Have I considered the possibility that if I have credit cards with balances that keep increasing that I am over-spending?

What would my life be like if I paid cash for everything?

Do I have a savings account?

Am I responsible with money?

What can I do to get better at living within my means?

What expenses can I cut down on, or out altogether?

Am I at peace?

What is my plan?

Overeating ~ Heavy Drinking ~ Anxieties Of Life

Life distracts us with so many things. There is food, good times, parties, alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, A Little Stressedgood things as well as not so good things. Balance is the key to moderation, but balance and moderation are not what we are being advised against here.

We need to be careful about listening to our heart because our heart can turn traitor. The heart can be fickle, as if it is attention deficit from time to time, desiring and craving the very things that can hurt us. Without monitoring our hearts, we can get addicted to life and everything in it, good and not so good for our mental, emotional, physical and spiritual health. When we misguidedly substitute people, places and things in place of balance in our life, we will find ourselves out of order.

Think of what it takes for us to face ourselves, honestly.

We know how human beings are prone to trapping each other: lying, cheating, stealing, manipulating, being addicted to drama and worry after worry, abusive and addictive behavior, and giving false witness and false testimony. Not only do others do these things to us, we also can be our own worst enemy.

We need to forgive, both others and ourselves. Before we can forgive others, we need to be honest with ourselves, and own up to what we have done and what we have failed to do. If we are still breathing air, we still have time  to forgive others and ourselves. That is the hardest part. As hard as we might find it to forgive others, some of us find it nearly impossible to forgive ourselves, as if we were created perfect to begin with.

None of us are perfect. We are human. We will make horrible mistakes. Tomorrow we will make more. The key to being honest with ourselves is to recognize that we are not perfect, admit our mistakes, and forgive ourselves, and oh yes, forgive others too.

Not only are we not perfect, but so often we tend to think others are not allowed to make mistakes either. We justify our feelings by not forgiving them in some warped sense of justice.

What will help?

If we live a more fully conscious life, aware of our thoughts, words and actions, it will be easier and more natural to pay closer attention to our hearts.