The following is shared with permission from Christine McGovern. Thank you, Christine, for allowing me to share this. I’ve written about this in the past, but your addition here can help so many more people across the globe.
So today, I thought I would share something I recently heard about.
I was watching a video, that was explaining that there are people who you technically wouldn’t think are narcissists, but are actually “covert” narcissists.
These are people you would classify as martyrs.
Those people who make you feel sorry for them because life has dealt them a really bad hand, over and over.
They experience loss, illness, bad luck, etc at a much higher rate than is typical. And keep attracting more!
Not that this makes them a martyr. There are many of us who seem to have an abundance of things that go wrong.
The difference between people who are just experiencing “bad” things, and those who are covert narcissists, are those who constantly compare themselves to others, insist that their pain is worse than everyone else’s, and that no one can possibly fathom what they are going through.
They are stuck!
They constantly seek sympathy, but refuse to do anything about their circumstances.
They become “victims” in their own mind and use that to manipulate others.
They say they tried “everything”, but refuse to try anything new or different, because that would mean they would actually have to admit their part in creating those circumstances, and do the inner work necessary to change them.
They don’t want to hear others success stories, because they either aren’t real, or couldn’t possibly work for them.
They get angry when presented with possible solutions, because then the sympathy would stop.
And they thrive on that.
They take advantage of the kindness of others.
Others who are sensitive souls who just want to help everyone, like myself.
They take advantage of those who want to help them by manipulation. Roping them in and making them feel obligated to keep doing for them.
Now, I am not saying that everyone who is suffering is like this. Absolutely not!
Just those who refuse to help themselves.
And those people need to be cut off. We can’t truly help them by feeding their desire for sympathy.
It may sound mean, but it’s actually a form of tough love.
We can still love them from a distance.
We can hold space for them, and pray for them.
When people stop getting the sympathy from outside, they will be forced to help themselves!
They will have no choice but to look inside, and hopefully become empowered enough to start making the changes that will make their lives better.
Take a look at the trauma they have experienced and see it as an opportunity to not only overcome it, but eventually help others who are suffering!
That involves seeing things from a higher perspective, forgiving others, as well as ourselves.
If we refuse to do that, we will be stuck in pain in a never-ending loop.
If you are sick and tired of being sick and tired and are ready to make a real commitment, to start your transformation of having a better life, send me (Christine McGovern on Facebook) a PM, and we can set up a chat.
Seventy-four million Americans fell victim to political and financial lies and outlandish conspiracies which have endangered them, encouraged them into criminal violent actions, all while being used as pawns in a sociopathic and narcissistic shell game of deception.
What is a sociopath?
A sociopath is a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience.
What is a narcissist?
A narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest in or admiration of themselves.
What is narcissist personality disorder?
Narcissist personality disorder is a mental disorder with exaggerated feelings of self-importance, but low self-esteem. It is very common, with more than three million cases year year in the US. It rarely requires lab tests or imaging. Treatment from a medical professional is advised.
Narcissist personality disorder (NPD) can last several years or be lifelong. Although the exact cause is unknown, NPD is often associated with the individual’s upbringing. It is characterized by an increased sense of self-importance and excessive urge for admiration. The individual has trouble taking criticism and looks down on others with a socially distressing behavior. Psychotherapy is the main mode of treatment. Medications may be prescribed to treat depression and anxiety.
The former President’s niece, Mary Trump, holds a PH.D. from the Derner Institute of Advanced Psychological Studies and taught graduate courses in trauma, psychology, and developmental psychology. She is the author of the book Too Much And Not Enough, subtitled How My Family Created The World’s Most Dangerous Man.
Symptoms of NPD
Being overly boastful, exaggerating one’s own achievements
Pretending to be superior to others
Lack of empathy for others
Looking down on others as inferior
Monopolizing conversations
Impatient, angry, unhappy, depressed or has mood swings when criticized
Easily disappointed when expected importance is not given
Always craves for “the best” in everything
Has a very fragile self- esteem
Treatments for NPD
Psychotherapy is the first line of treatment. Medications may be prescribed to manage some of the symptoms.
Medication
Antidepressants: Relieves depression and anxiety in people with personality disorders.
Anti-anxiety drugs: Acts on the neurotransmitters in the brain and decrease anxiety.
Therapies: Psychotherapy
Causes of NPD
Exact causes are unknown, but may include:
Parenting style either excessive pampering or criticism
Genetic changes
Changes in the structure or functioning of brain
Mary Trump attributes her uncle’s mental illness to excessive pampering and criticism in his upbringing, which she says is how her family created the world’s most dangerous man.
It is a painful thing for people to come to terms with the fact that as a country, they have been duped by the lies and conspiracies of a narcissistic sociopath. For example, it has been proven that the former President lost the 2020 Presidential Election. Yet, his ego will not allow him to say he lost. So he contrived lies and conspiracies for years, while telling everyone that it was other people who believed in fake news, not him. However, that is not the truth.
Pay attention to this. In hindsight it is easy to see how most all the verbal attacks made by the former President accusing others of doing a wide variety of things, are the very things he does himself. This began to be noticeable when he was running against Hillary Clinton. He began accusing her of doing the very underhanded things he was doing, thus adding confusion to situations.
Great harm to our nation has been done in the January 6 domestic terrorist attack on the U.S. Capitol, resulting in murder, death and destruction. As if that is not enough, the standing of the democracy of the United States of America, has taken a definite hit in the world of public opinion. Dictators, tyrants, and autocrats can now use video and audio against the promotion of democracy.
Lies and conspiracies from the narcissistic sociopathic former President is now what the Senate trial of his second impeachment is considering, due to the video and audio showing his incitement to riot from his followers, as presented today for everyone to see.
Many people have invested time and money, all for someone’s else’s narcissistic and sociopathic ego, and the entire Republican party to remain in power.
This is how the Republican Party will bring on its own demise if they do not separate themselves from the delusional, narcissistic sociopath pulling their strings.
Yes, we all have the right to think what we want, believe what we want, speak what we want, and do what we want. We are also all accountable for our thoughts, words and actions.
We have all played a big part in our current state of affairs. It is not the other guy’s fault.
When others told you to watch and listen to other reputable sources such as: Reuters, AP, NPR, New York Times, Washington Post, BBC, Wall Street Journal, The New Yorker, Bloomberg News, The Atlantic, and Politico, did you say, “Why would I watch that?” or “Why would I listen to that?”
That is a big part of the problem.
Did you ridicule anyone with a different point of view other than yours, and the one source of news where you were constantly fed lies and conspiracies?
Ridicule is the weapon of the impotent.
When all else fails, when the “facts” as you know them do not measure up to contrary facts, or fake news as you have been led to believe, turns out to be quite the opposite in the light of actual video and audio, how do you handle discovering it is you who have been relying on fake news as if it were real?
There is much at stake. Democracy is at stake.
Let us hope and pray that those in politics, and slanted news outlets, stop listening and promoting the continuous big lie that the 2020 Presidential Election was stolen, when it was not. Proof and actual facts back this up.
We need to forgive ourselves for being so gullible as to listen to hate speech dividing certain groups of people unlike ourselves. The list of divisions is far and wide. Yet, you and I have the mental and physical ability to put our better, unifying thoughts forward, healing ourselves and our nation.
Our country needs us to understand what really took place, which is not what seventy-four million people have been led to believe. Coming to terms with our own shortcomings is necessary if we are ever to heal from following the self-deluded footsteps of a narcissistic egomaniac who held the highest political office in our country.
Our government needs to put remedies in place in the future event another mentally unstable, total narcissist sociopath gets voted into office. This is on all of us.
A narcissistic sociopath is incapable of empathy for anyone else despite what words were expressed. That was part of the shell game being played and many Republicans were under that shell. Some are still under the shell, not knowing how to get out.
The only way out is with truth and honesty. The loss will be less to the Republican Party if they decide to cut ties with part of their base which promotes hate groups, crime and violence in our streets, while promoting lies, conspiracies and fake news as their enticements. If these politicians do not do this, most intelligent Republicans will switch political parties. No one wants to throw out the baby with the bathwater.
Watch for yourself. Listen for yourself. This is not something you cannot understand. But you must pay attention, and learn. That is possible and is necessary for truth to be told, rather than the fake news that has been spouted as if it were real.
“Where your attention rests, there flows your life.” Ascended Master Light, Saint Germain Press
Whether its relationships, elections or anything else in life, whatever you focus on grows. There is energy to your thoughts. Now is the time to switch focus to healing our lives and our nation by building up rather than tearing down.
What do you wish to heal?
The radiance of love is all encompassing, turning dark to light, unrest to rest, and division into unity. It can happen in the blink of an eye. There is no need to dwell on what is not serving you, destroying your peace and joy, and upsetting your days.
You are not the victim of your moods. Your moods are the victim of your own thoughts. That is the supreme self-sabotage. Your thoughts do not choose you. You choose our thoughts each and every time.
Lesser mortals will try to place blame on another person, place or thing, but the reality is that when you finally decide you are sick and tired of any person, place or thing, you decide to do something else, put on different music to lift the spirits, or change your activity to something more productive. Until you decide to do that, you immobilize yourself. It is always your choice.
We are all the creators of our own realities. There are no victims here. Maturity helps us to realize that the light of our life is God in action within us. We can always choose better and do better. When we make mistakes as all humans do, we acknowledge it, forgiving ourselves and others, and move on.
Narcissists and egomaniacs have a hard time with these points because they do not comprehend how every dysfunctional thing around them is not the fault of others, or could possibly be their own fault, since to their warped and sick thinking, they are perfect in every way.
How do we move on when things turn out not as we had planned or invested our precious time and money in?
Staying stuck solves nothing. Having adult temper tantrums and blustering negative thoughts, words and actions into the stratosphere, only serve to embarrass the immature child inside the adult body. But all hope is not lost.
Instead, manifest the radiance of love, honor and integrity in your life. No matter where you are in this world, and upon which man-made version of self-important caste-class-ruler system you go by, you can decide to think, speak and act with more love, honor and integrity today than you did yesterday.
You improve on thoughts, words and actions of honor and integrity by ending the sabotage of yourself and others. Change is the inevitable part of life. Things never stay the same. That would be stagnation.
Shine your light on truth. Allow more knowledge in. Do your own research as opposed to spouting the group think-tank propaganda. Question any and everything that limits the God-given freedom with which you were born, religiously, politically, spiritually and physically.
Do the honorable things. Walk in integrity. When you do this, you become a blessing of light and love to this earth. We all need more of that.
How many people have said, “This is just my opinion. I have a right to my opinion. That’s just the way I am.”? Everyone has a right to their own opinion. However, prejudice is not an opinion, nor is it “just they way I am.” Prejudice is a mental disease, a value of hate that is taught through families, friends, and society.
Prejudice is taught. Prejudice is an ignorant teaching. No one is born with a prejudiced mindset. It is also part of the poverty “rich vs poor” mentality, which includes the “us vs them.” It also infiltrates to the “we are better than them,” no matter which side of belief we are on.
The problem occurs when we atttempt to make prejudice be normal, or just another thought or value system someone has. Society never does well when we pretend any form of mental illness is normal.
How close to mental illness do you choose to get? Prejudice is a choice. No matter what our parents, friends or people in our circle of life believe, we always have the choice in what we believe as an individual.
I have had people tell me they have a right to be prejudiced, that the only crime is to act out in harmful or criminal ways. This is faulty reasoning. What you think about, you bring about.
Another person told me that they carry a gun and could shoot a black person with no problem. This is the form this kind of mental disease takes. It shows the beginning of acting out in hate, not simply “believing what I want to believe.”
I could be bipolar, which used to be called manic-depressive, and say, “I was born like this. It is in my DNA.” That would be an accurate statement. But since prejudice is not in our DNA, it is a mindset that shapes how we choose to lives our lives, to say “I was born like this” is not a true statement.
Prejudice is an ignorant, deformed mental concept. It serves no one. This mental illness has been with humanity since people populated the earth. But prejudice has not been recognized for what it truly is, a mental disease.
Some of us fall into the weakness of prejudice by becoming victims of it, or by becoming bullies by it. Neither side is healthy. Both sides can heal, but only with the truth that all human beings work together, regardless of race, color, creed, gender, age and any other difference which makes us human. Our variety as human beings is what makes us unique and lovable, not deplorable.
If we only look at the crimes and outrage taking over cities in the United States these days, while not looking at what sparked this in the first place, we would be willfully ignorant of the facts. Facts are not opinions.
Changes obviously need to be made. Staying relatively quiet since the days of Martin Luther King, Jr. has not stopped the sinister wave of hate prumulgated through the United States and the world under the subculture of white supremacy including prejudice in all its hideous forms.
We need to take off the blinders to the reality of how we treat all people in all situations, stop red-lining districts, stop political and willful conniving to scam the system, and stop pretending mental illness is normal, and stop putting prejudiced lawmakers and judges, all of whom are examples of the mental illness of prejudice in public office.
The solution to the mental disease of prejudice is to call it what it is, mental illness. Mental illness is treatable. We as a country as well as the world can heal from every form of prejudice. Some people are prejudiced against the mentally handicapped, or people from other lands or beliefs, not just against people who are not exactly the same color of skin that we have. Still, all prejudice is a mental shortcoming, a defect that ought not to be treated as normal.
While systemic racisim has blinded many people, it is not a disease that is incurable. We need to deal with the core issue of racisim, which is prejudice, which erroneously thinks that one brand of people is better than another.
We are all the same in the eyes of God.
There is only one race of people, the human race.
It is time we mentally heal, and educate ourselves to all the goodness diversity has to offer.
It is time we mentally heal, and choose empathy and compassion over mental illness and narcisism.
It is possible to heal with our very next thought. Reach out to help others. Use words of kindness.
It is possible to heal mental illness through prayer, counseling and support.
It is just as easy to build each other up as to tear each other down.
If we start with a positive solution today, we can live in a better world tomorrow.
It seems like it’s feast or famine. We say we want freedom of speech, until someone
I’m telling you we still have freedom of speech in this country, even if we do not like what is being said. Truth has no opinion.
speaks. We say we want tolerance, until we have to stand up. We say we can’t legislate morality, until someone does or says something that offends us.
Oh, the outrage.
Isn’t it odd, in this day and age, in the United States of America, that the public outcry on any given opinion columnist who dares to speak out the opinion for which he or she was hired, has to defend himself or herself, because of the most vocal opinionated voice of the public.
The public voice is often outrageously irresponsible, narcissistic and weighed down by vested interests.
One tactic narcissists use is to bend their voice from moment to moment, regardless of the truth in the matter, to their personal benefit. Pretend truth and made up truth is not truth. It is a lie. Truth matters.
Fantasy truth does not help a family, state nor any country. Narcissists forget that in these days of social media and public and recorded television and news stories, complete with sound, video and pictures, the public can see and repeatedly see the truth of what was said at the moment in time in which any statement was made. History reveals who knew what, when. Honesty matters.
We seem to want freedom only when it is convenient, or popular, or when we get to wave our outrage flag. It would almost be comical if it did not destroy the livelihood of opinion columnists, opinion talk show hosts, and government officials who speak the unpopular truth in the face of opposition based on lies. Two wrongs do not make a right.
Freedom of speech is not meant to be only the current, popular group think tank consensus, spoken by popular personalities.
Freedom of speech is not meant for only particular religious groups, lobbyists, banks, millionaires, CEOs of companies, presidents of anything, or heavy-hitting advertisers who use their dollars to buy the opinions they believe in and wish to promote at any and all costs.
Money is not the bottom line. People are. Speech and policies that promote or tolerate human death as an acceptable means of getting what they want is unconscionable. People are resilient. We can bounce back, but not if we are dead. Money matters, but not if we are dead. Then it is just a pile of money. What we say has consequences. What we say matters.
Freedom of speech is freedom of speech. We all need to use our voice to state our opinion, or voice our stand on a political issue that matters to us. Here in America, others have a United States constitutional right to say any and all opinions they may have. We also have freedom of speech, and are able to voice our opinion on any and all subjects.
What neither side of any issue has no right to do, is to attack the person, go after that person’s job, in attack smear campaigns, or break laws. This is childish. In some cases it is slanderous and/or criminal. Name calling and attacks on a person’s character is something parents deal with when their children go off to first grade. And it does nothing to address the subject at hand.
We all must stand up and be socially responsible. Often, rather than stand up for what we feel is right, or use our freedom of speech to make valid and important points vocally, we turn into cowards and verbally attack the person who has the opinion we don’t like. This is a warped and childish sense of power.
Boo hoo.
Someone has hurt my feelings.
When did “someone has hurt my feelings,” turn into, “They have no right to say that” (whatever it is we do not agree with). What are we, children? We are acting like it.
This may not be a popular article.
It is easier to jump on a bandwagon, any bandwagon that has momentum, rather than tackle a sensitive issue ourselves.
What will our friends think?
Will we lose any public standing if we say what we really believe?
Will we lose our jobs?
There is so much penalty to voice an opinion contrary to the popular public opinion. It is so much easier to character assassinate the individual or group stating something we do not agree with.
We need to activate our freedom, our voice and social responsibility actions. We need to grow up. We need to step into our personal power, and stop giving it away in the tornado of destruction caused by our attacks on others, no matter how insane we believe them to be. Not speaking and acting when we need to, these omissions, also matter. Lives are at stake. Words and actions matter.
People’s words and actions give them away. They do not need us to make them look foolish. They do a good enough job of that themselves.
I am using my God-given freedom of speech, acting with social responsibility, to suggest everyone what I see as a solution to a growing problem sweeping this great nation of ours. It is imperative we regain our freedom of speech. We are on the brink of losing it.
I would like to add one last point. It seems to be the far-right American who is currently claiming to be Christian. I say “claiming” to be Christian because to be Christian is to follow Jesus Christ and the words He spoke. The words Jesus spoke said to take care of the poor, the sick, and according to the Ten Commandments right-wingers like to say they stand on, we are to take care of our mothers and fathers, many of whom are in nursing homes these days.
If money is really the bottom line, then we can all do what Scrooge said to do in A Christmas Carol, and let all the poor, sick and the elderly die, including our mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts and uncles, and decrease the surplus population.
Money is not the bottom line. People are. At least let us not lie and say we are Christian, then turn around and acts as though we were not.
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