If You Are Not In Peace Something Needs To Change ~ Stop Living A Lie

Sometimes we find ourselves living a lie, trying to fit the mold, compromising our views, sacrificing who we are for the platitude of peace, and making ourselves miserable in the process.

Your feelings let you know if you are on the right path in relationships. Good feelings equal a good relationship. Bad feelings equal something needs to change.
It seems as if we simply denied our feelings, changed our goals, and settled for everyone else’s dreams, then everyone else around us would be happy. Then our life would not be bothering their life, and we would not experience any of the guilt associated with making the necessary life changes needed to be made, if only we were as important as everyone else. Not only that, don’t relationships require heroic effort, gut wrenching problem solving, and staying together at all costs, so a life of loneliness does not happen? Don’t one or both parties involved in relationships need to be put on drugs so as to get along better? Absolutely not.



This is a relationship trap we can find ourselves in, unless we learn how to stand up for ourselves with honesty and integrity. We must be true to ourselves, or we live a lie. Change is not always easy, and most often can be emotionally painful, especially in relationships in which we have invested so much of our time and talents and heart to make things work. But staying together while losing yourself in the process is not part of a healthy relationship.

Relationships are living entities. People in relationships do not always grow in the same direction. This is not a judgment. Sometimes people grow together, sometimes they grow apart. This is the nature of living things. There are times in our lives, that no matter how much of ourselves we pour into a relationship, it is not enough. The tragedy occurs when we finally recognize that something needs to be done, but we fail to do so.

Not to make a decision in a relationship that requires attention, is to make a conscious decision to do nothing, to agree to keep the status quo. By not making necessary changes for your mental and emotional health, you are agreeing with the situation, and the living a lie loop continues to perpetuate.

Everyone matters in a relationships, even you. You matter. You count. Your feelings and emotions are your mental and emotional barometer telling you if you are on the right track, or if something is wrong. Perhaps a relationship only needs a minor adjustment, perhaps holistic counseling is in order. We all need help from time to time.

Listen your heart, your intuition, your gut instinct. You know what to do. Change does not have to come with hostility, nor with hurtful words. It is possible to make your decisions from a place of dignity and calm, honoring who you are and how you feel, without diminishing anyone else in the relationship. This is not about being right or wrong. This is about living a life of integrity and truth.


Assess Your Stress: Stress Is A Matter Of Perspective

Assess your stress. Stress is a matter of perspective. Some stress is even healthy for us. Eliminating all stress in your life is not the goal for a healthy life, nor is coping with unhealthy

Stress sparks change for new opportunities.

levels of stress. The key to a healthy and productive life, is finding the balance between stressors that motivate, inspire and drive us forward in a positive direction in our life, as opposed to stressors that immobilize, sabotage and deflate us emotionally, intellectually, physically and spiritually.What is the perspective of the stress in your life, a challenging opportunity to grow and learn from, or a debilitating dread that you somehow must endure? Assess your stress objectively. Are you going through a stressful means to a positive end? Is there an end in sight? Is there any positive or helpful result that makes your current stress more tolerable? Are you avoiding changes you need to make in your life? Do you live in constant fear, anger, or any other dysfunctional emotion due to a particular stress? Are you giving your personal power away to family members or to those in your work environment?

We need to change the stressors that we can if we feel they are shortening our life span. You count. You matter. You are important. There is only one you. Change may be painful, but not to change when change is what is needed is self sabotage. No church, religion, country or family is in charge of you, that is, if you are over 18 years of age. Only you are in charge of you. That thought alone might take some time to get used to. If you can change a situation, but choose not to, then this stress is what you are freely choosing to be in your life. The temptation then is to play the role of the martyr. This gets old fast, both for you, and for those around you.

Changing destructive stressors in your life can bring short term uncomfortable stresses into your life. But not changing destructive stressors can harm your health and shorten your life altogether. You need to assess exactly what your priorities are, what limits you are going to accept and not accept on the things in your life. Make a conscious choice about this. Only you are in charge of you, no one else. Trying to control others to avoid making the changes you need to make is manipulation, and brings with it more stress than changing what you need to change brings. Going through an uncomfortable change stops when you feel the relief of being free from the original stressor. Relief comes when you are back in control of your emotions, feelings and actions. You control you. Just realizing this can be very liberating.

Many times we find ourselves in situations not of our own making, and our choices are limited. If we still see positive outcomes from our staying in the stressful environment or stressful relationship, then changing how we view the situation and how we deal with the situation, can be liberating. A new, positive viewpoint puts us back in control of our moods, thoughts and actions. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel. We may not be able to control outer circumstances immediately, but we have 100 percent control of how we think and how we deal with the stressful problems in our life. We can choose to add meditation, prayer, yoga or time alone for yourself by walking in nature to realign our energy. What we focus on grows.

If you are in a situation where it is impossible to change your stressful situation, you still are in control of how you think. No one controls your mind but you. Be like teflon by letting stresses not fester in your mind or anywhere in your energy field. Let it go. Just because someone else is having a bad day does not mean you have to have a bad day. You can only do your best. Be proud of that. Remember the “Four Agreements,” by Don Miguel Ruiz, don’t take things personally; don’t make assumptions; be impeccable with your word; always do you best.

Remember you are never alone. Lift your thoughts to your higher I Am Presence, your Divine Connection to Love and Light. Breath in Divine peace into the core of your being. The Divine is closer to you than your next breath.


Fear Not When Life Changes

Are you ever motivated, intimidated or crippled by fear, or frozen by life changes? Image result for picture of ancient hidden library

Our emotions are our thermostat, an indication of how we are getting along in our life. Life in general seems more fun with the happier emotions. Yet there are moments that can catch us by surprize and pull the rug out from under us. Other times our emotions can build ever so slowly and sneak up on us, so that we don’t even recognize the drain of energy they are causing. We just know we are off. How we react to fear is also affected by our personality, how we are shaped by our upbringing and circumstances, and one of the biggest fear factors, change.How well do you handle change? I believe how you handle change is an indicator of how long you will live.

Breathe. I can’t ever say that enough. When we go into fear, or talk about fear, we subconsciously begin to shallow breathe, which amounts to not breathing at all.

Relax as you read this. I am not going to tell you anything new that you do not already know here. But with this gentle reminder, you can make some resolutions that will help you get your head on straight.

Whether it is losing weight, or going outside of your comfort zone, placing yourself in new social situations, or dealing with recurrent or new phobias, or anything that pushes your emotional buttons, realize that you are perfect, right where you are, right now, in this exact moment.


You and I have to start somewhere. The best place to start in accepting where you are right now, with all of the limiting conditions you may or may not like. Take an honest look at yourself. What are your good qualities? What are things about yourself you would like to keep as you move forward? What are things you would like to change? Are your desires realistic? Are your desires unrealistic? This honest look might be the first time in a long time, that you take stock of where you are at, and where you want to go.

Fear not. Jesus says fear not. I say fear not. Fear immobilizes you, shuts you down. It is possible to move past fear of change. This is a major comfort to those of us who are faced with immediate and unwanted change, like the death of a loved one, loss of job/home/marriage, or traumatic accident or major health crisis, or mental or spiritual breakdown.

There is hope.

When you take stock of your situation, keep breathing, and realize that fear grows by not taking a close look at yourself. Fear diminishes when you shed a light on the situation. When you deal with the loss of finances, loss of your job, or any other fearful change, fear diminishes.

Make a plan, keep breathing. Your plan just might work. If it does not, make a new plan.

Invite in your spiritual helpers, your spiritual team. You are not alone. The Divine is closer to you than your next breath. Jesus says the spark of the Divine dwells within you. The kingdom is within you. Fear cannot stand against any of this. You win.