Some of us come into our own at an early age, knowing just who we are with all of our strengths and our weaknesses. Others of us come into this internal and

You are not a victim, nor a martyr, unless you choose to be. You have a choice.

external knowing later in life, while some of us carry on to the end, never really knowing all the dimensions of what makes us tick, or what our mission in this lifetime is. There are so many factors that shape a person, his or her emotional self, personality and personal likes and dislikes, religious and personal beliefs, self-esteem and personal empowerment issues.

Self-esteem, like every other human trait mentioned here, is a living, pulsating energy. Your self-esteem is a living entity, fed every minute of every day by your own thoughts, in addition to the thoughts and attitudes of those who raised you, the schools you went to, the friends and people of influence around you, and the attitudes regarding the value of life you have finally adopted.

What role do you play in your own life?

Do you like how you are feeling?

Your feelings are key to assessing where you are at in your personal development. Denying your feelings is a sign of weakness, not strength.

Everyone from time to time feels empowered. On occasion, we find ourselves in situations of disempowerment. This is the human condition. Two people can grow up in similar situations, yet, one person comes out strong, while the other person comes out of the same set of circumstances emotionally scarred by taking on the role of victim or martyr that he or she has chosen to assume. Why is this?

In order for self-esteem to fully blossom, we need to pull out the noxious weeds of self-imposed victimhood and martyrdom. Some of us cling to these dysfunctions as if they are badges of accomplishment to be worn into every life situation. We could succeed if it were not for this, that, or the other thing that stopped us. Recognize all seeds of negative self-messaging the second it comes to mind.

When bad things happen to us in our lives, we have two choices, not just one. The worse choice we can make is to succumb to the lower sense of self, then act out the role of being a victim, as “woe is me,” that of living out our life as a martyr. The best choice we can make is to identify with our higher self, recognizing that we are a beautiful work of creation.

Do not allow yourself to ever think, agree or believe negative messages about yourself. Accept yourself, right where you are, with all of the history and happenings that have ever happened to you. If there is something about yourself you wish to change for the better, then become aware and consciously work on that.

Liberate yourself from self-imposed negativity. Yes, you can. You are not a victim unless you want to be. You are not a martyr unless you choose to take that role on. But why would you do either? Often people choose these roles of dysfunction because they have learned they can manipulate others by doing so. It is good to take stock of our true motives. Accept who you are now, and consciously grow in the reality that you are worthy.




Is the kingdom of God inside you or outside of you? It is not only Christian beliefs thatstar-gazing[1] look closely at this point. If all people knew the original writings in many religions on this very point, there would be no self-esteem issues, nor depression, panic, anxiety, or stress in the minds of many. This is a crucial point to understand for mental, emotional and spiritual health.

It is understandable how well-meaning Bible students arrive at the understandings they do, given what their particular Bible translation informs them on belief changing verses. Take Luke 17:20-22 for example. Some versions of Catholic and other Bibles say that the kingdom of God is “among” us, assuming that Jesus, who said this, means he is among us.

However, that is not what the original scrolls of the Bible, translated directly from the original Aramaic say, nor is it what the Interlinear Bible in Hebrew, Greek and English says. These original sources say: “When some of the Pharisees asked Jesus when the kingdom of God would come, he answered, saying to them, The kingdom of God does not come by observation. Neither will they say, Behold, it is here! Or, behold, it is there! For behold, the kingdom of God is within you.” Holy Bible from the Ancient Eastern Text, George M. Lamsa’s Translation from the Aramaic of the Peshitta

That is what the Christian original Bible says. What do other faiths have to say about this? It is not the differences that must be noticed here, but the similarities in varying beliefs that are the same that jump out at us. Here is a list of other belief systems and what they have to say on this matter:

Baha’i Faith: “O SON OF SPIRIT! I created thee rich, why dost  thou bring thyself down to poverty? Noble I made thee, wherewith thou abase thyself? Out of the essence of knowledge I gave thee being, why seekest thou enlightenment from anyone besides Me? Out of the clay of love I molded thee, how dost thou busy thyself with another? Turn thy sight unto thyself, that thou mayest find Me standing within thee, mighty, powerful and self-subsisting.” Baha’u liah, The Hidden Words, Arabic #13

Buddhism: “If you think the law is outside yourself, you are embracing not the absolute Law but some inferior teaching.” Maja writings of Nichinen Daishonion Volk. 1, pg 3-5

Christianity: “The kingdom of God cometh not with observation; neither shall they say, Lo here! or lo there! For, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.” Luke 17:20-22 King James Version

Confucianism: “The Superior Man seeks within himself. The inferior man seeks within others.” Analects 15:20

Hinduism: “Bright but hidden, the Self dwells in the heart. Everything that moves, breathes, opens, and closes Lives in the Self. He is the source of love and may be known through love, but not through thought. He is the goal of life.  Attain this goal! The shining Self dwells hidden in the heart. Everything in the cosmos, great and small, Lives in the Self. He is the source of life. Attain this goal!” Mundaka Upanishad 2.2.1-2

Shintoism:  “The deity is immanent in man and man is inherent in the deity; there is neither the divine nor the human; there is no difference in essence at all between them.”

Sikhism: “This is a wonderful, unique discourse: The living self is the image of the Supreme Being. It is neither old or a child; Neither it suffers pain, nor in death’s snare is caught; It is not shattered nor dies; In all time it is pervasive. It feels not heat nor cold; Neither has it friend nor foe; It feels not joy nor sorrow; All is its own; it belongs to all might. It has neither father nor mother; Beyond the limits of matter has it ever existed. Of sin and goodness it feels not the touch– Within the heart of each being it is ever awake.” Adi Granth, Gaunt, M.5, p. 868

There is a lot of food for thought, prayer and meditation here. Enjoy!


Stress? What stress?

Imagine you are here ~ no worries ~ nothing to do ~ RELAX

We need to take care of our mental health, in addition to our physical health. Our mental health is important. We need to take better care of it. With physical health issues, we tend to take care of the things we need to take care of. If we ignore the first symptoms of a problem, the pain associated with the physical problem usually sends us to the doctor, even if it is inconvienient.

But those with mental health issues often have another hurdle to jump. Our pride, which is fed by our insane ego, suggests to us that if we were mentally strong enough, then we could simply wish our problems away, or worse yet, our insane ego might suggest that you are feeling so good, you should get off your medications because you do not need them anymore.


The following considerations work both for people currently on medications, and for those who are not on medications.

Let’s go back. Twice now I’ve referred to the ego as the insane ego. The ego very much wants to have a loud voice, no matter how shy you might be, in order to keep you alive. It does not like to have its voice squelshed. However, our ego can make its presence known so loudly that we trip over it time after time. So I will be refering to our unbridaled ego as the insane ego.

Our insane ego can rear up when we first become aware that we might be mentally unbalanced, overly frightened or overwhelmed, by suggesting that this problem “is all in your mind,” and that “It will go away.” Guess what? Problems, mental or otherwise do not go away when we do not deal with them.

It is important for good mental health, to acknowledge our feelings. Feelings are not right or wrong. They simply are. Unpleasant feelings like guilt, unworthiness, grief, and depression do not magically transform themselves by stuffing them deep, down inside you, or denying them. First we need to acknowledge them. Sometimes these feelings are so strong they create a physical pain, but that’s just the symptom of the emotional pain. Know this, once you identify the source of the problem and deal with it, the pain begins to lessen, while your personal power grows stronger.

Whatever you focus on grows. The more you focus on the anxiety, the more the anxiety grows. The good news is, the more you focus on relaxation, and doing the things that bring on the relaxation response, the more you will unwind and heal.

While it is not healthy to pretend we do not have anxiety, it is healthy to have a conscious plan.

For panic attacks, remember to breathe. Nowadays we do not breathe right. When we do breathe, we do not get the same amount of oxygen as we did a century ago due to so much pollution in the air. Plus we are cutting down the rainforests in the world, which are the lungs of the planet. So, remember to take slow, deep breaths. After taking 15 slow, deep breaths, your blood pressure usually returns to normal.

You need to know, if this hasn’t occurred to you already, that you are not going to “feel” like doing any of this. Once the negative habit of anxiety has rooted in you, a little voice inside of you will start by telling you, “This is stupid,” or “It won’t work,” or “I don’t feel like it.” It’s like you have the negative you on one side, and the positive at-least-wants-to-try-to-be-positive you on the other side. Realize this before hand so you expect it, then consciously take the steps to get better anyway.

Yes, you can get better.

To reduce stress, make sure each day includes stretching, and exercise like walking or swimming. Remember to move your body in five different directions. For example, you could do a forward bend, arch your back backwards, lean from the waist to one side sliding your hand down your outer calf or whereever you can reach, then do the same thing on the other side. Lastly, do some sort of twist, gently. None of these moves need to be extreme. They just need to be done. This helps you by releasing those feel-good endorphins.Listen to happy music you like. Relaxing music helps a lot.

Know too that the world is not going to come to an end if you do not get everything on your to-do list done. Your head already knows this, yet somehow we place enormous burdens on ourselves, out of a mis-guided goal of perfection. Accept yourself right where you are, right now, with all limitations you see.  It is not that you are having a good day if or when you get 900 things done in a day. Give yourself permission to be you and enjoy the wonder.

Universal Law of Gender

In my Master of Chaplaincy Program covering 66 universal laws, law 32 is on Law of Gender. I thought this

Our Soul clothes our Spirit, our God particle, which is eternal.
Our Soul clothes our Spirit, our God particle, which is eternal.

insightful law might be helpful in this world and the next.

The Universal Law of Gender has three main points. The first is that everything living in creation has gender, an ebb and flow, a yin/yang effect working together. The second interesting point is that each gender reflects both genders within itself. The third most fascinating point of all, is that all planes of existence including mental, physical and spiritual reflect both male and female aspects.

What this universal law is saying is that one must consider all three aspects of ourselves in finding balance in this world. We are not only physical beings. We are not only mental or emotional beings. We are not only spiritual beings. We are not only spiritual beings walking around in a physical body. That is not entirely accurate. Why?

We now have duality within our brains. We are at the mercy of our left brain, right brain dance of reasoning. Sometimes the male dominated right brain, the yang side wins out, while later in that same day our female left side of our brains reasons back with more artistic and sympathetic responses.

Within our physical bodies we see our genders reflected. But we are not only one dimension; we are three. Technically, some systems say there are 12, 32, 64, or all the 365 “layers” back to God (some say “Source”). To simplify, I am saying our spiritual bodies extend all the way (dimensionally speaking) back to God, which technically, it does.

Our spiritual selves matter just as much as our mental and physical selves, or else we are living a crippled life. Even within our spiritual bodies, which surround us like a heavenly hug about 12-18 inches around us, are part of our human make up. Have you ever wondered why someone standing too close to you out in public makes you feel uncomfortable?

This spiritual aspect of ourselves not only reflects us, it reflects the Creator. This is the part of us that is made in the image and likeness of God. This spirituality has both Mother/Father aspects, nurturing and healing, and creative life generator. We did not come alive until God breathed life into us, animating us with his life-giving force.

People in Jesus’ day wondered about this, asking him in the resurrection, which wife would she be, who had seven husbands in life. The answer Jesus gave in Matthew 22:30: “in the resurrection, neither do men marry, nor are women given in marriage, but they are as angels in heaven … He is the God, not of the dead, but of the living.”

We are to be as angels, no gender, living with God.