Have you ever found yourself repeating cyclical dysfunctions in your life? Have you ever asked yourself, “Why does this keep happening to me?” Take a moment to look at your life thus far, the people in your life, your job situation, your living status, your financial health, and all other areas of your life. Pay particular attention to those areas that you really do not want to look at too deeply, areas that seem like hot spots to you, or any area that thus far you have kept a tight lid on, have only allowed yourself to view as a single option, or the only option. One minute we may think we have conquered one problem or another, only to have it rear its ugly head once more in our lives. What do we do with that?
Find a quiet spot, physically and mentally, and become the observer of your life. Know that as you peer into the windows of your life, you see all of it, only this time you are able to avoid all of the distracting drama, button pushing, and out of control emotion. Simply see your life as you remember it, without making judgments on yourself. Simply become aware of the patterns you see. Notice your habits that you might have suppressed all your life, because it is, as you might say, your way of doing things. Do you see any life lessons here that keep repeating? What do you see?
Our habits, even if they are dysfunctional, are comfortable to us, because we already know how they will play out. We also know by now, that whatever we focus on grows. But there are times when we revert back to our two-year-old selves, or any age where our character development got stifled through a dramatic event. At times we dawn a self-defeating type of amnesia, as if by our forgetting about what happened “the last time this happened,” we can change the future. Deep down, we know this is a lie. Our history keeps rolling on in its repetitive, circular compression as if this compression might have well been yesterday all over again, until that is, we make the sometimes painful and necessary changes, by our decisions to do so, in order to get a different result in our lives.
We know how to push others buttons to get our desired result, and they know how to push ours, or at least that might be our lived experience thus far. Know this: just because something has always been for us, some habit or desire, functional or not, does not mean we are forever doomed to have a continued life of dysfunction. We are not doomed forever to a life of victimhood. We are not meant to live a life where other people constantly are supposed to take advantage of one another, either us being the aggressor, nor the victim.
Some of us live our lives as a music conductor conducts the orchestra, with precision, yet with cunning conniving and manipulation, while others of us are carried away by the music, like flights of fancy, but not rooted in the necessary reality of reality.
The key word in today’s article is choice. Yes, we have free will and choice. We may not like what is entailed when we change our choice options. Often fear arises. So because we turn out focus to the fear of this, that, or the other thing, we stagnant, making fear-based decisions, out of fear of the unknown, and the pattern repeats again. How do we break out of self-sabotage patterns, some of which are destroying our life?
Pay attention. Ask yourself these questions:
What motivates me?
Do I want a different outcome in my life?
Exactly what do I want to accomplish in my life?
Is what I am doing now in line with my life goals?
What are my life goals?
What are my short term goals?
What are my long term goals?
Have I written these goals down?
How serious am I about my goals?
Do I feel I have reached my full potential”
Is there more for me to learn?
What plans do I have to increase my education?
Where do I want to live?
How do I want to live?
Are their people in my life that affect my life?
Have I allowed my hopes and desires to be swayed by others thinking?
What are my own personal goals, not influenced by others?
What is my dharma, life’s ultimate work or calling?
Do I give away my personal power and decision making to others, or to situations?
Do I know how special I am in this life?
Do I know that my decisions not only affect my today, but my entire future?