How are we with understanding and accepting things in our lives that we do not want? Do we ever find ourselves fighting ourselves, our circumstances, our work situation, or things out of our control which affect us?
Finding yourself in places in life you do not want to be can be difficult and stressful. It is not usually in our life plan to find ourselves at the beginning again, after we have made so much progress in our job and in our life in general. We have made our game plan. Some of us get married. Some of us join the military with promises for our future. Some of us are hard workers who have been in the workforce for years. Then something happens.
Often change can find us hostile, willing participants, digging our heels in as if we can keep the status quo by doing so. We may find we get angry that our situation has changed. Something or someone has tampered with our security, our daily schedule, or our personal relationships. We are in emotion pain, and we want it to stop.
First, we need to give ourselves a break. Breathe. Understanding ourselves, and understanding others, or the situation is a first step. We have to start somwehere so we do not stay stuck. Know that no matter what, we will be OK. Go within. We need to feed our emotional selves with loving kindness. We think of kindness as something we extend to others. At this time, it is important to show kindness to ourselves, with no recriminations, or negative self talk. The blame game helps no one. We need to do what we can to fix or repair our relationships, our work environment, or the broken situation.
But some things that break cannot be restored to the original state as if nothing has happened. Sometimes we can fix the problem. But sometimes the problems are too big to be repaired.
The key to recovery is having an understanding heart with ourselves and with others. Once we understand, we accept where we are, and accept our next steps for moving on. If we do not want to move into understanding, we stay stuck. If we do not accept where we are, we stay stuck. The only way to get past where we are, like moving past job loss, death in the family, divorce, bankruptcy, any of life’s interesting twists and challenges, is to work with understanding, leading us to acceptance, and only then can we find ourselves on the road to recovery.